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going to affect you?
 It s what you wanted, she replied simply.  You ve made that pretty clear right
from the beginning.
He opened his mouth, but with nothing to say in his defense, closed it again. There
was no denying the truth of her words. He hadn t kept his desire for her to play again
a secret. It had been his goal from the beginning. At least until he realized what he
was asking of her. By then, it was too late.
 You never asked what I wanted. You stormed into my life and embarked on this
heroic effort to save me from myself, but you never asked me if I wanted to be saved.
You didn t care.
She stepped back as he reached for her, expertly staying an arm s length away.
 Isabeau 
 I don t want to perform again, Noah. She squeezed her eyes shut, opened them.  I
never wanted to. I hated going out there, being put on display like some sideshow
freak.
 You re not a freak.
 A child that hears music in the blowing of the wind, the rustle of the leaves on the
trees? A little girl not yet of school age who can play Chopin after hearing it only
once? She hugged her arms around her middle.  It doesn t matter. None of this
matters.
 It matters. God, he wanted to touch her so badly he ached.  Let me in, Isabeau.
There s a wall around you that you won t let me past, an entire part of you that you
won t let me be a part of.
 I can t.
 Why?
Her lips trembled.  Nothing s enough for you. I m certainly not.
 That s not true. I want you to 
 What about what I want? she asked, her voice pitched so law he had to strain to
hear her.  No matter what I give, you always want more. There s nothing more for
you.
 I don t believe that.
 It doesn t matter what you believe. Your life is somewhere else. What s between
us whatever else it is is temporary. You know that. I know that.
His throat tightened painfully. A burning ache settled in his gut, crawled up his
chest.  I m asking you now. What do you want?
 I want to be important to you.
He took a step closer.  You are important to me.
 Because of who I was, who you believe I could be again. The woman I am isn t
enough for you.
 That s not true.
She was inching away from him again, moving closer to the door at her back. If
she thought he was going to let her walk away from him, she d better think again.
After talking with Thomas last night, Noah had a better understanding of what
motivated her to keep people at a distance. But he wasn t having any of it. Not
anymore. He wanted past that wall of hers. He wanted her to share her secrets with
him. All of them.
She gazed up at him, her eyes gray and shiny with unshed tears.  I wish I could
believe that.
 Believe it.
She cupped his face in her hands, brushed his cheeks with her thumbs. Then she
turned and walked away.
 Isabeau, wait! He pushed through the door, squinting as the afternoon sun struck
him in the face.  What happened to you during those years with John Whitehorse?
She froze with her hand on her driver s door. Her spine straightened. A small
sound of distress slipped up the back of her throat.  Why would you ask me that?
 What did he do to you, Isabeau? Why the walls? Why won t you let anyone in? If
possible, she went even paler.  I know he hurt you. What I want to know is if it was
more than emotionally. The physical abuse 
 Don t do this.
  how far did he take it? Throat raw, palms sweating, he took a step closer.  Is
Thomas right? Did John Whitehorse sexually abuse you?
She started to shake.  He thinks that?
 It s a logical assumption.
 The hell it is!
 Your time with John changed you.
 Please stop.
He couldn t. He had to know.  You closed off, shut down, and began to draw away
from even the most platonic touches.
Covering her face, she stood there, body vibrating with emotion.  Thomas told you
this?
 Yes.
 When?
 Last night. After he brought you home, Thomas came into the bar where I sat
waiting for you. He told me about the last time you ran away from John.
 I was fourteen, she whispered, through her fingers.
He pulled them away from her face.  There was something you would have told
him then, if John hadn t shown up with the police. What was it, Isa?
 All these years& How could he believe this and never say anything? He should [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]