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cascaded across the marble face. `I'm not playing with you now. I . . . I betrayed you to my father. I did.
Self-defense, I thought. Now that I've met him at last I can see he's too dangerous. An hour later I knew
it was a mistake because I realized I was in love with you. I'm paying for it now. You need never have
known.'
`You expect me to believe that?'
`Then why am I here?' She trembled slightly. `Why did I follow you? That bombing was ghastly. You'd
have been dead in another minute when we picked you up. Your yawl was a wreck . . .'
`Where are we now?'
`What difference does it make?'
`I'm stalling for time.'
`Time for what?'
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`Not for time . . . I'm stalling for courage.'
`We're orbiting earth.'
`How, did you follow me?'
`I knew you'd be after Lindsey Joyce. I took over one of my father's ships. It happened to be Vorga
again.'
`Does he know?'
`He never knows. I live my own private life.'
He could not take his eyes off her, and yet it hurt him to look at her. He was yearning and hating . . .
yearning for the reality to be undone, hating the truth for what it was. He discovered that he was stroking
her handkerchief with tremulous fingers.
`I love you, Olivia'
`I love you, Gully, my enemy.'
`For God's sake! He burst out. `Why did you do it?'
`What?' she lashed back. `Are you demanding apologies?'
`I'm demanding an explanation.'
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`You'll get none from me!'
'Blood and money, your father said. He was right. Oh . . . Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!'
'Blood and money, Yes; and ashamed.'
`I'm drowning, Olivia. Throw me a lifeline.'
`Then drown. Nobody ever saved me. No - No... This is wrong; all wrong. Wait, my dear. Wait.'
She composed herself and began speaking very tenderly. `I could lie, Gully dear, and make you believe
it, but I'm going to be honest. There's a simple explanation. I live my own private life. We all do. You do.'
`What's yours?'
`No different from yours . . . from the rest of the world. I cheat, I lie, I destroy . . . like all of us. I'm
criminal . . . like all of us.'
`Why? For money? You don't need money.'
'No.'
`For control . . . power?'
'Not for power., 'Then why?'
She took a deep breath, as though this truth was the first truth and was crucifying her. `For hatred . . .
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To pay you back, all of you.'
`For what?'
`For being blind,' she said in a smoldering voice. `For being cheated. For being helpless . . . They should
have killed me when I was born. Do you know what it's like to be blind to receive life second-hand? To
be dependent, begging, crippled? "Bring them down to your level," I told my secret life. "If you're blind
make them blinder. If you're helpless, cripple them. Pay them back . . . all of them".'
` Olivia, you're insane.'
`And you?'
`I'm in love with a monster.'
`We're a pair of monsters.'
'No.!'
'No? Not you?' she flared. `What have you been doing but paying the world back, like me? What's your
revenge but your own private-account with bad luck? Who wouldn't call you a crazy monster? I tell you,
we're a pair, Gully. We couldn't help falling in love.'
He was stunned by the truth of what she said. He tried on e shroud of her revelation and it fit; clung
tighter than the tiger mask tattooed on his face.
`"Remorseless",' he said, "`Lecherous, treacherous, kindness villain!" It's true. I'm no better than you.
Worse. But before God I never murdered six hundred.'
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`You're murdering six million.'
`What?'
'Perhaps more. You've got something they need to end the war, and you're holding out.'
`You mean PyrE?'
`Yes.'
`What is it, this bringer of peace, this twenty pounds of miracle that they're fighting for?'
`I don't know, but I know they need it, and I don't care. Yes, I'm being honest now. I don't care. Let
millions be murdered. It makes no difference to us. Not to us, Gully, because we stand apart. We stand
apart and shape our own world We're the strong.'
`We're the damned, 'We're the blessed. We've found each other.'
Suddenly she laughed and held out her arms. `I'm arguing when there's no need for the words. Come to
me, my love . . . Wherever you are, come to me . . . .'
He touched her and then put his arms around her. He found her mouth and devoured her. But he was
forced to release her.
`What is it, Gully darling?'
`I'm not a child any more,' he said wearily. `I've learned to understand that nothing is simple. There's
never a simple answer. You can love someone and loathe them.'
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`Can you, Gully?'
`And you're making me loathe myself.? 'No, my dear.'
`I've been a tiger all my life. I trained myself... educated myself . . . pulled myself up by my stripes to
make me a stronger tiger with a longer claw and a sharper tooth .. quick and deadly . . .'
'And you are. You are. The deadliest' [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]