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He reached out and took Caleb s hand.  I ll be there tomorrow. I won t let him hurt
you.
37
Carol Lynne
Caleb pulled his hand away from Tyson and covered his face.  You don t understand
what it s like. I think I m over it, and then I see someone who looks like him, or I m
walking down the street and I hear someone yell Jeff. It doesn t matter where I am, or
what I m doing. It s like, BAM, out of the blue I m thrown right back into it.
 It s called post traumatic stress disorder.
 No. That s for soldiers and stuff.
Tyson shook his head.  You ve lived through traumatic events. Tyson pulled Caleb
into his arms.  You might want to talk to someone who can help you learn how to deal
with it.
Caleb rested his cheek against Tyson s chest and hung on.  I m so sorry. I know you
don t deserve to deal with this shit.
Even in the midst of a meltdown, Caleb was apologizing. Tyson wished he could take
away Caleb s past, but he knew it wasn t possible. The only thing he could do was help
his lover deal with a future of sudden flashbacks to his days of being abused.
 I love you, Caleb. No matter what, I need you to remember that.
Caleb s head shot off Tyson s chest. His eyes were huge as he stared at Tyson.  You
love me?
 I do. The big question you need to ask yourself is do you think you re worth it?
Caleb reared back like he d been slapped.  What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Damn. Tyson searched for the appropriate words to help Caleb understand.  You said
something to me a few weeks ago. You said you were afraid that you needed love. Well, I
agree, I think you do need it and that s what s bothering me. You are so fucking incredibly
fantastic and you don t even see it. The reason you need someone to love you is because
you don t love yourself.
Caleb stood and headed toward the back porch.  Give me a minute, he said when
Tyson started to follow.
Tyson stopped in the kitchen. He opened the fridge and took out a bottle of beer. He
knew he d laid a lot of psycho mumbo jumbo in Caleb s lap, but he had some experience
in post traumatic stress disorder.
His sister Meg had been raped while in college. Eight years later, the smell of alcohol
on a man s breath still sent her back to the night it happened. She d had years of therapy,
but the best the psychologist could do was help her deal with the episodes when they
occurred. Even a trained professional couldn t wipe the memories from a victim s mind.
Tyson knew he needed to see the letter Jeff had sent. If it was in any way threatening,
he would push for Caleb to go to the police. Maybe Tyson hadn t done Caleb any favors
by suggesting he not confront Jeff earlier? Perhaps that was exactly what his lover needed
to do.
The door opened and Caleb stepped inside.  You re right. I don t think I ve ever loved
myself. I don t know how. Jeff was the first person to really love me at all. I mean, my
mom obviously didn t or else she wouldn t have given me over to the state.
38
Through the Montana Mist
It was the first time Tyson had heard Caleb speak of his mother.  Maybe she wasn t in
a position to care for you.
 In a position? Caleb snorted.  Guess you could say that. She loved the pipe more
than me.
 Drugs can make people do stupid things.
 Yeah, well they re still a choice. And my mom chose them.
Tyson knew it wasn t that simple. Most likely Caleb s mom thought she could have
both until the addiction took over and she fell under its control. It would be another area
a psychologist could help Caleb understand, but there was time to discuss that option
once he got Caleb through the current situation.
Tyson set his beer on the counter and opened his arms.  Well I choose you.
 But for how long? Despite the question, Caleb moved into Tyson s embrace.
It was the first time Tyson had witnessed distrust in the younger man s eyes. Although
it hurt, Tyson knew he couldn t blame him.  I can t promise we ll have an easy road in
front of us, but I can promise to love you as long as you ll let me.
 I think I ll let you for a long time. Caleb gazed up at Tyson.  I love you, too.
Tyson leaned down for a kiss, putting all the love he felt into every swipe of his tongue.
He hoped in time he could help Caleb learn to truly love himself.
He walked Caleb backward and pressed his lover against the wall, taking the kiss
deeper. Tyson lifted Caleb and set him down to straddle Tyson s thigh, opening his
lover s pants in the process. One of Tyson s favorite things about making out with Caleb
was how horny the man became.
Tyson could feel Caleb s erection rub against his leg as the kiss became a sloppy mess
of teeth and tongues. He reached down and scooted Caleb closer until the hard ridge of
Tyson s erection could grind against Caleb s abdomen.
Oh fuck. The pressure felt so damn good it made the hair on the back of his neck stand
on end.
Caleb reached between them and skillfully unzipped Tyson s jeans, separating the
denim to fish Tyson s cock out. The steady squeeze of Caleb s hand as he began jacking
Tyson off was nirvana. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]